Earlier this year, we invited working Carents to share their stories in dedicated focus groups. What they told us was deeply moving. Their experiences highlight a national reality: largely invisible, yet increasingly urgent.
This week, we’re sharing some of the key insights from those groups. These reflections challenge assumptions, reveal hidden struggles, and shine a light on the strength found in connection and community.
Inspired by what we heard, we invited more Carents to speak out. Over 1,000 people responded. Their voices and experiences are at the heart of our landmark report, which will be published in two weeks. It will include powerful data, real-life stories, and practical recommendations for employers and policymakers.
In the meantime, we invite you to explore what we heard directly from our focus groups. These are stories of resilience, care and hope that challenge assumptions and point the way towards positive change.
Read more about the report below, or simply fill in the form to have the eBook delivered straight to your inbox.
A Growing Group Facing Enormous Pressure
There are around 4 million carents in the UK. That is more than half of all unpaid carers. These are adults balancing jobs and family life while also supporting ageing parents with everyday tasks like shopping, managing medication, attending appointments and providing emotional care.
Their numbers are rising fast. People are living longer, often with chronic health conditions that require support. As formal care becomes harder to access, more and more working-age adults are stepping in.
The costs are staggering. Each year, around 400,000 people leave the workforce because they cannot juggle both roles. Others scale back their hours, decline opportunities or push themselves to the edge. Many told us they feel exhausted, isolated and unsure of where to turn for support.
“I Just Got On With It”: The Hidden Emotional Strain
Across all three focus groups, we heard consistent themes. People felt guilty, anxious and stretched beyond their limits.
Guilt. Fear. Exhaustion. These were the most common emotions carents described.
Some felt they were letting down their employer. Others felt they were not doing enough for their parent. Many struggled with the impact their role was having on their relationships, health and finances.
“My life is on hold,” one participant said.
“I have not had a week’s holiday since 2017,” another shared.
Carents talked about being permanently on call, navigating medical systems, managing care at a distance and carrying the emotional weight of watching someone they love decline in health. And they were often doing it alone.
Two Stories That Say So Much
Helen supported both of her parents for over a decade. What began as weekend errands and DIY grew into full-time caregiving. After years of juggling this with work, she eventually took early retirement from the NHS and now lives with her mother to provide round-the-clock care.
A, who preferred not to share her full name, is caring for a parent with serious health conditions while working full-time. Her employer is unaware of her situation. She worries that disclosing it might lead to judgement or limit her career.
Both stories are unique but reflect wider truths. The demands are relentless. The need for flexibility is real. And the desire to care, while continuing to work, is deeply felt.
What Would Help: Practical Ideas from Real Carents
Carents in our focus groups had clear ideas about what would help:
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Flexible or remote working options
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Understanding and proactive managers
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Paid carers leave and access to clear HR policies
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Peer support spaces like the Carents Lounge
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Better awareness of what carents are managing
Several told us that work offers structure, identity and emotional support. But without proper accommodations, it becomes another source of pressure.
We Need a Cultural Shift, Not Just Policy Tweaks
This is not just a workplace issue. It is a societal one.
Participants called for broader changes too. More joined-up care for older people. Better day services and respite care. More preparation and education about what carenting involves.
Many compared their experience to the way society supports new parents and questioned why the same level of support is not available for people supporting ageing loved ones.
“No one prepared me for this.”
“There’s so much help for children. Why is it so different for older people?”
What Comes Next
Soon we will publish our full report of Invisible and overwhelmed - A survey of UK carents balancing work and elderly care responsibilities. It will include data, analysis and clear steps that employers and policymakers can take to support the people holding up our families and our economy.
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Until then, we hope these stories spark conversations and raise awareness. If you are a leader, a colleague or a carent yourself, know this. You are not alone, and you deserve to be seen, supported and heard.
