Caring for elderly parents can mean sleepless nights, sudden dashes to hospital, and agonising hours in waiting rooms.
Now, our new poll lays bare just how long adult children are waiting when their loved one ends up in A&E - and the reality is worse than many feared.
In our latest community poll, we asked carents how long they spent in A&E the last time they accompanied an elderly parent in crisis:
- Just 8% were seen within the NHS’s four-hour target.
- 57% waited between 4 and 12 hours.
- 21% were there for 12–20 hours.
- And a staggering 14% – 1 in 7 carents – endured waits of over 20 hours.
Behind each statistic is a story. Often heartbreaking. Often preventable.
“We waited 62 hours. She sat in a chair the whole time.”
One carent shared how she spent more than two full days in A&E with her mother, suspected of having a stroke. They were given no bed. Her mother sat in a chair the entire time. Another carent described physically supporting her mother’s neck for over two hours, with no help and no information.
Some only learned what had really happened weeks later. One family discovered a brain tumour 8 weeks later. “No one told us,” they said.
Others were sent home in the middle of the night, with no food, no drink, and no sense of what came next. In one case, a carent said her mother - who had been left in a corridor for eight hours - developed urinary sepsis because help didn’t come in time.
“It was inhumane.”
Again and again, carents told us they felt invisible. Their elderly parent’s needs were being ignored, and they themselves were left to advocate in a chaotic, overstretched system.
“There is a one-size-fits-all approach to A&E,” one carent said. “No recognition of how age, frailty or dementia affects the ability to wait safely.”
Another wrote simply: “It was inhumane.”
While many praised individual staff members - nurses doing their best, moments of compassion in the chaos - the consensus was clear. The system is not working for frail, elderly patients. And it is not working for the people trying to support them.
“We’re the invisible glue holding it all together.”
At Carents, we see this every day. We exist to support adult children who are caring for elderly parents. We’re here for the ones navigating corridor care, confusing discharge notes, and late-night taxi rides home from A&E.
Carents’ co-founder, retired GP and public health expert Dr Jackie Gray, shared her concern:
“These accounts are a devastating reflection of how our healthcare system is failing older patients and those who care for them. It’s unacceptable that those in their frailest years are left for hours – even days – in conditions that cause deterioration, distress, and often irreversible harm.”
Across the country, carents are stepping in to fill the gaps; often without thanks, training, or even sleep. They are the quiet workforce propping up the NHS.
What needs to change?
At Carents, we are calling for urgent, practical reform starting with:
- Mandatory frailty screening at the A&E front door, as recommended by the Royal College of Emergency Medicine
- Dedicated A&E pathways for elderly patients, just like there are for children
- Meaningful involvement of carents in decisions and communication
- Ending corridor care, so no one is left to deteriorate in limbo
Share your story. Help us shape the future.
These stories aren’t rare. They’re happening every day, all over the country. But unless we keep speaking out, nothing will change.
Are you a carent who’s been through a similar experience? Share your story or for peer support join our community.
