Emotional Support

Recognising the Signs of Burnout and Taking Action

Burnout can creep in when caring for an elderly relative, leaving you feeling exhausted, disconnected, and trapped in a vicious cycle of stress. In this guide, we explore what burnout really is, how it develops, and, most importantly, what you can do to regain control and protect your well-being.

Middle-aged woman looking exhausted and stressed while sitting on a grey sofa at home, symbolising burnout from caring for an elderly relative. Barefoot with shoes off, she appears overwhelmed, highlighting the emotional and physical toll of caring for elderly parents

What is Burnout?

Burnout is more than just stress—it’s the feeling that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. It happens when demands outweigh the resources available to cope, leading to prolonged emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. While stress is a normal part of life, burnout feels inescapable—like you’re running on empty with no opportunity for change.

As part of the Carents community, many people share experiences of overwhelming responsibilities, a constant sense of pressure, and little time for themselves. Recognising burnout early is key to breaking the cycle before it takes a toll on your health.

Join Carents

Our community offers a welcoming environment where carents can share their experiences, find resources and advice, and receive emotional support.

Join our Community

Watch: The Burnout Cycle

The Burnout Cycle: How it Develops

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It builds over time, often following a pattern:

1. Rising Demands

Caring for a parent involves a mix of physical, emotional, and mental challenges. This could include practical tasks such as attending appointments, assisting with daily care, or managing finances. Emotional demands—being the main source of support or coping with difficult decisions—can add another layer of strain.

These demands don’t exist in isolation. Many carents also juggle work, family responsibilities, and personal expectations, stretching their energy even further.

2. Depleting Resources

Resources are the tools that help you manage stress, from time and money to support networks and coping strategies. When these resources are drained—whether due to lack of sleep, financial strain, or emotional fatigue—the balance shifts, making it harder to cope with everyday demands.

3. Narrowed Focus & Disengagement

Under persistent stress, the brain shifts into survival mode, focusing only on immediate concerns. This can lead to withdrawing from relationships, skipping self-care, and losing interest in activities that once brought joy. Over time, this disengagement can deepen feelings of isolation and hopelessness.

4. Exhaustion & Confidence Dip

The final stage of burnout is extreme fatigue. Even small mistakes—forgetting an appointment, misplacing an item, or feeling too drained to hold a conversation—can feel like failures. This loss of confidence can reinforce the cycle, making it even harder to see a way out.

Breaking the Burnout Cycle

If any of the above resonates with you, it’s important to act before reaching breaking point. Here are some small but powerful steps to shift the balance:

1. Reclaim Small Moments for Yourself

Prioritising your well-being isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. Start by carving out one non-negotiable moment in your day, just for you. This could be something as simple as enjoying a hot coffee without distractions or taking five minutes to breathe deeply before bed. These small acts help rebuild a sense of control.

2. Shift the Focus from ‘Should’ to ‘How’

Often, carents know what they should do—exercise more, ask for help, or set boundaries—but struggle to put it into practice. Instead of overwhelming yourself with big changes, focus on how to take one small step at a time. For example, if you want more support, start by identifying one simple task you can delegate.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

When burnout sets in, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong. Instead, actively look for small daily victories—whether it’s making a loved one smile, getting through a difficult conversation, or simply making it through the day. Writing these down can help shift your mindset and rebuild confidence.

4. Tap Into Support Networks

You don’t have to do this alone. Connecting with others who understand can be a lifeline. Whether it’s through Carents Lounge, a local support group, or trusted friends, sharing your experiences can ease the burden and provide valuable reassurance.

Recognising When to Seek More Help

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired—it’s a signal that something needs to change. If you’re feeling stuck in a state of negativity, struggling to find joy, or unable to shake feelings of exhaustion, it’s time to prioritise:

  • Self-awareness – Recognising when you’re overwhelmed.
  • Self-compassion – Allowing yourself rest and care without guilt.
  • Self-control – Taking small steps towards balance.

Burnout doesn’t have to be the norm. By taking small, intentional steps, you can rebuild resilience, find moments of light, and continue providing care without losing yourself in the process.

Did you find this information helpful? Let us know what you think or pass on some advice to other carents by emailing us at hello@thecarentsroom.com

Last updated: 09/03/2025