Managing Stress When Caring for an Elderly Parent

Reviewed by: Dr Jackie Gray, Public Health Expert and Retired GP
(Carents Trusted Reviewer Programme – Last reviewed January 2026)

Relaxation does not mean long spa days or spare hours you do not have. It means finding small moments to let your body settle. If you already have a way to unwind, keep using it.

If not, here are options that many carers find helpful:

Mindfulness helps your brain slow down when thoughts are racing. There are plenty of simple guides and apps that show you how to do this without needing a quiet house or loads of time. Even a few minutes can help you step out of survival mode.

Deep breathing sounds basic, but when your chest is tight and your mind is rushing, it can pull you back to steady ground.

Try this anywhere, even in the car or beside a hospital bed:

• Breathe in through your nose for four counts

• Breathe out through your mouth for four counts

• Keep your shoulders relaxed

• Let your stomach rise as you breathe in and fall as you breathe out

The below video from the NHS shows what this looks like:

Stress often peaks during difficult moments, such as managing medication, helping with mobility, or dealing with sudden confusion or agitation from your parent. Grounding techniques help bring you back into the present when your mind is spinning. 

Try naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Or place your feet firmly on the floor and focus on the pressure under your heels and toes. 

These tools work because they pull your brain out of panic mode. They take less than a minute and can be used without anyone noticing, even in chaotic or emotionally charged situations.

Caring often leaves your body clenched without you realising it. Progressive muscle relaxation helps release that tension, especially when stress shows up as headaches or back pain.

Try it in a place that is as quiet as you can manage. It will not be perfect, and that is fine. Tense and release each muscle group slowly. After a few tries, you will be able to use this anywhere, even in short snatches of time.

The below video from the NHS can help guide you through this process:

Visualisation uses your imagination to give your mind a break. It can help you sleep, lower your pulse and interrupt the constant “what next” planning your brain is stuck in.

Headspace has a simple three-minute example, and YouTube has many more. The NHS also offers a calming beach visualisation.

Many carers say the same thing: “I know I should take a break, but there is simply no time.” This is a real barrier, not a lack of willpower. When someone depends on you, your day is shaped by their needs, not yours.

Finding time starts with looking for tiny gaps rather than long stretches. A five-minute breather while your parent naps. A short walk to the bin. Listening to something calming while you fold laundry. These moments are small but they add up, and they are often the only realistic starting point. 

Over time, you might be able to plan slightly longer breaks with help from friends, family or community services. You matter too, even when it feels like everything else comes first.

The mental health charity Mind suggests drawing or colouring because it:

• Distracts you from spiralling thoughts
• Gives emotions somewhere safe to land
• Helps your senses settle

Adult colouring books work well, but scrap paper and a pen are just as good. The point is not to create art. It is to give your brain a break from the constant responsibility you carry.

Burnout does not arrive overnight. It builds slowly until you suddenly realise you are running on fumes. Many carers assume exhaustion is simply part of the job, but there are early warning signs worth noticing. 

You may feel numb, irritable, or detached from the person you are caring for. You might struggle to make simple decisions or feel wave-after-wave of guilt because you are too tired to do more. Your body might ache constantly or you may find yourself catching every cold going around. 

These are not personal failings. They are signs that you need rest, support, or a change in routine. Knowing the early signs helps you protect yourself before things reach breaking point.

Reviewed by Dr Jackie Gray, January 2026