It's Talk Money Week (2–6 November), and this year's theme is "It All Counts". The idea is simple: small, realistic steps make a real difference. For a lot of carents, the money conversation that matters most this week isn't about our own pensions or savings. It's the one with Mum or Dad.
Who would pay their bills if they couldn't? Is there a Lasting Power of Attorney? What would they want if they couldn't say? None of it is easy to raise. You might worry about upsetting them, or about seeming to take over. But leaving it until a crisis usually makes everything harder, for them and for you.
If money is already on your mind, you're not alone. In our research, The Price Carents Pay, 52% of carents had used personal savings and 11% had drawn on a pension.
You don't have to sort it all at once. Start with one thing. Our guide to difficult conversations has ideas for how to begin, and Getting organised helps you pull the paperwork together once you have.
Five things worth sorting while there's time
Our legal guides are written and reviewed by the Private Client team at Muckle LLP, our legal partner, in plain English.
1. A Lasting Power of Attorney
A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) lets someone your parent trusts make decisions for them if they no longer can. There are two types: one for health and welfare, and one for property and financial affairs. Your parent can make one or both.
Timing is everything. "The window to put one in place closes the moment a parent loses mental capacity." Without one, even close family may have no legal authority over a parent's bank account or care, and the alternative, applying to the Court of Protection for deputyship, is slower, more expensive and more stressful.
A diagnosis doesn't automatically mean it's too late. Capacity is assessed at the time the LPA is made, not on a general diagnosis, so someone in the early stages of dementia may still be able to make one. Our guide to losing mental capacity explains what that means in practice.
Read: Lasting Powers of Attorney: a guide for carents
2. A will
A will says what happens to your parent's estate and who carries out their wishes. Without one, the rules on intestacy decide, and they may not match what your parent wanted. It's also one of the gentler ways into a wider conversation about the future.
Read: Making a will: a guide for carents and their ageing parents
3. Their healthcare wishes
An advance decision and an advance statement both let your parent set out the care they would and wouldn't want, for a time when they can't say. One is legally binding; one isn't.
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An advance decision (sometimes called a living will) is legally binding in England and Wales. Healthcare providers must follow it.
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An advance statement isn't legally binding, but providers should take it into account. It can cover values, beliefs, diet, where they'd like to be cared for and what brings them comfort.
Neither can be made once capacity has been lost. An advance decision is also not the same as a DNR order, which is completed by a clinician; our guide to DNAR orders and your rights explains the difference. Once the documents exist, the Message in a Bottle scheme helps emergency services find them.
Read: Advance decisions and advance statements
4. A benefits check
If you're already acting as an attorney, it's worth checking what support your parent could claim. Many older people never claim what they're entitled to. Attendance Allowance is a good place to start: it isn't means-tested, so savings and income don't affect it. Our Attendance Allowance guide explains how to claim.
A successful claim can affect other entitlements, such as Council Tax Reduction or Pension Credit, so it's worth getting advice when several payments are involved. If your parent's council pays them Direct Payments for their care, keep that money in a separate account and keep clear records. And don't forget your own needs: a carer's assessment from your local council can lead to support for you.
Read: Acting under an LPA: benefits and Direct Payments
5. What it will cost
"The difficulty is often not knowing where to start, or what it will cost." Our free legal costs calculator lets you choose the documents your family needs (wills, Lasting Powers of Attorney, probate) and see an estimate, including VAT and official fees, before you speak to anyone.
The one fixed cost is the official fee: £92 per LPA (£184 for both types), paid to the Office of the Public Guardian, with reductions or exemptions for lower incomes. Registration typically takes 8–10 weeks, plus a four-week waiting period.
Carents have access to preferential rates with Muckle LLP. If you get in touch with them, mention Carents to make sure you receive them.
Try it: Work out what legal planning might cost
One small step this week: check what you're entitled to
If you do one thing this Talk Money Week, make it this. Our benefits calculator looks at support such as Attendance Allowance, Carer's Allowance and Universal Credit, gives an estimate of what you might receive, and explains how to apply. You can run it for yourself, your parent, or both. It's free and you don't need to register.
For more, see Grants, benefits and other financial support and Paying for care. And because money conversations with older parents can attract the wrong kind of attention, our guide to spotting and reporting scams is worth a read too.
Try it: Check what your family could be entitled to
Watch: the legal essentials, from Carents Day
At Carents Day, Leah Duffield, Head of Private Client at Muckle LLP, walked through what carents need to know about LPAs, wills and planning ahead, in plain English. Make a cuppa and press play.
Watch: Parents, planning and peace of mind: the legal essentials
Have you had the money conversation with your parent?
How did you start it? What do you wish you'd known? Tell us at hello@thecarentsroom.com. With your permission, your words could help another carent take the first step. You can read other carents' experiences in Your stories.
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Our legal guides are written and reviewed by the Private Client team at Muckle LLP, in partnership with Carents. They're general information, not legal advice, and cover England and Wales; Scotland has different law. For free, impartial money guidance, MoneyHelper is backed by government: 0800 138 7777. Want more like this? Sign up to our newsletter.
